We hope you enjoyed the discussions on Monday.
This week, please share your experiences with balance-- what it means to you and how you try to achieve it. "Apply" the Live-With and record your successes as well as what did not help. There may be two different approaches: (1) finding a way to integrate all aspects of your life to create a dynamic balance, or (2) recognizing competing priorities and consciously choosing one over the other for some period (before rebalancing to focus on the other “side”). Your experiences?
We felt that confronting gender differences was important. The key is seeking and bringing out your authentic self. Thoughts?
We will start next class with some comments on Steve Jobs and leading change. The “lessons” from his “style” plus a fuller understanding of the dynamics of change can be an important part of every leader's job. And this can be helpful in managing (or being managed) at all levels in an organization.
What has been your experience with either leading change or "being part" of a major change or turnaround effort. What did you experience? How did you cope to get through it?
Have a great week
Julie & Hal
Balance: This weeks heuristic, not only seeking but actively choosing balance, served as a kind of permission for me to take action on several items that have been pushed to the proverbial back burner for weeks or even months because there always seemed to be something more pressing in the moment. Julie’s comment that balance doesn't happen by accident and that we have, consciously or passively, chosen to be in the state of balance we are in really struck home. So, when I reflected on the fact that I had raised my hand in class to place myself in the “out of balance” “square,” it was time to truth myself.
ReplyDeleteSo what did I do differently this week? Two specific things:
1. Recalibrated the imagery I had been providing to myself around balance. Out goes the idea of a teeter-totter or a scale. I find that imagery to be counter-productive, the implication is that we play a zero sum game in life (which is arguably true if you think in terms of time or finite resources, but this does not hold true if you think about experiences). In my case that imagery had manifested as making a set of unconscious choices around time allocation. Instead, I replace the scale imagery with the idea of creating a life in composition (more like a song or a piece of art). This allows me to turn volume up or down, make colors bold or light, fill the canvas with dense imagery sometimes and know that voids also serve the overall composition. The idea of balance as a scale generates either/or questions. (Should I do this or that?). Alternatively, the approach around composition starts by asking: what do I want this life to look like? To sound like? How will this choice I make serve to fulfill the vision for my own composition?
2. I chose differently, placing more emphasis on the life I seek vs. the life I am living, and made commitments to stick with the choices (that is to say keep appointments and honor the time I had set aside etc.)
Back to my opening comment about permission, I felt like a set of self-imposed rules had been removed. Rules I had been taking for granted. The week was lighter, more enjoyable. Its remarkable how a handful of choices in one week have modified my trajectory from only one week ago, I am actively walking down a path of my choosing.
That said, I could comment further here on the other questions posed but I am going to make a choice to spend that time instead on a little void in the canvas ☺
During this past week I have paid more attention to my intuition when making decisions. On one occasion in particular, I found myself in a situation where I had the opportunity to speak to an audience about a very difficult personal experience that changed my life perspective. Public speaking is difficult enough already, and the subject matter was very personal and would expose my vulnerability to the audience (VOJ). So I was nervous about doing this, and if I had taken time to think it through the opportunity would have passed. But my intuition said “yes” and so I said “yes” with no expectations. Looking back I am glad that I chose to do it, and I thank my intuition for guiding my decision to act.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I “over think” a situation it becomes an excuse to procrastinate, and I may miss opportunities. As I used my intuition this past week, I found myself acting more quickly and decisively. I found that making decisions in this manner has helped me establish a better balance in my life.
Balance to me is doing whatever I do effortlessly, and feeling relaxed after a task has been done, instead of feeling overwhelmed and having a nagging feeling that so much is unfinished. I'm juggling two different roles, and I try to complete everything before I go home every day. Of course that doesn't work. Initially, I would feel overwhelmed, I would stay in the office until 8 pm on most days and then come home to a chaotic apartment, which would stress me out even more. I started to prioritize and focus primarily on my main role. I don't get paid for the other role, so it has a lesser priority. Now I look at what is most critical, the due date, and then give each task my full attention. I also have the option to work form home when needed, which helps me keep my place organized, which makes me feel more relaxed. I realized that I get things done on time or ahead of time, and have time to do the things I really want to do. It's at those times that you'll be able to make better decisions. When you're feeling out of balance and overwhelmed, you don't have clarity about what's going on, you lose track of the big picture. The yes/no rule at described in CIB chapter 8 is helpful for me. I used to quite indecisive and still can be. Often, after I've made a decision I worry whether it was the right one... It's improving and it will take practice to become more confident about making decisions without looking back.
ReplyDeleteIt was good that there an open and honest discussion regarding gender differences. I grew up in a male dominated environment, where even some women had old-fashioned and traditional views. When I was a teenager for example, I showed my school grades to my grandparents. I had done really well in languages, but my grandmother (bless her soul) said that my cousin, who had good grades in math, economics, etc., had better grades but he was a boy after all, so it was more important. I didn't have to be good in school because I was a girl. This made me furious but it also made me work even harder, and I'm the only woman in my family with a university degree. One not-so-great thing is that I tried to "act" more like my cousin in order to be taken more seriously, and of course you're not yourself when you're trying to be like someone else. It took me a while to figure that out. I think this experience likely held me back in my former jobs and current job, but it's slowly starting to change.
In the past decade, “balance or work-life balance” are such buzz words in the workplace. We all try to achieve them and yet most of us are still struggling with it today, especially with so many competing priorities. Perhaps the idea/concept have boxed us in to what it’s “supposed” to be and not what it truly is, dynamic and priorities. Earlier in my career I was chasing #1 but came to realized that was just setting myself up for failure and that #2 is a more realistic approach. Consciously prioritizing what’s important now or today and letting go of lesser priorities, until the next reprioritization, so that I can focus on getting what I think needs to get done is less stressful. I often find that what’s really important today may not be tomorrow and what’s sometimes on the bottom my list becomes fire drills the next morning so what’s the point of stressing out what’s not in my control or not so important in my short time line and just know that things will change and be prepared for it. We’re never going to have the perfect balance, at least not for very long, as life Is dynamic and just by recognizing and accepting that are the first few steps to a more balanced approach to life.
ReplyDeleteI’ve had the opportunity to see, lead, and be part of major changes in big and small companies and one coming thread between these experiences is that it’s HARD. People are naturally resistant to change, myself included. We are creatures of habit so we tend to stick with what we know even though it’s not the best approach, but hey at least it works right?…so we thought! Being on both sides of change have given me a great appreciation for the challenges. When I experience change, I know keep an open mind, try not to jump to conclusion, give management a fair chance, and trust in leadership. That said, being on the other side, for a big change implementation to be successful the leaders have to be genuine, lead by example, passionate, honest, communicate, and measure success. Leaders need to be able to share their vision so people can understand the big picture. They also need to anticipate and empathize that the that the journey will not be easy for everyone but if done right together, things will be for the better. They need to provide training, process, tools, and support for people to make the transition. And lastly, lead by example, lead by example, lead by example. I’ve witnessed so may failures at my clients where this is one of the hardest thing for the leaders to do. When they don’t follow their own rules, it creates distrust and division. The people need to know that this is something that the entire company is going through together and the only way to do that is recognizing that there is change, have patient and empathy for each other.